Kristina Savic (33) from Duvaniste near Sabac wants to become a mother. But, she doesn't have a uterus and she can't have a child. One of 5.000 women have this problem and she is just the first one in Serbia who is openly speaking about this deformity, known as Mayer Rokitansky Küster Hauser syndrome.
Transplantation of the uterus or surrogate motherhood are the only possibilities for Kristina and her husband Nebojsa (37) to become parents. Since there is no adequate donor for the transplant, they decided that a surrogate mother in Ukraine would give birth to a child.
But, there is an obstacle - money, the procedure costs 38.000 euros. That is a giant amount which they can't provide themselves, so they need help from humane people.
Two years ago, when there were more talks about the transplant of the uterus, Kristina's sister and a mother were potential donors. But, since the mother gave birth to three children with C-section, the doctors didn't agree to have her as a donor, and the analysis done by the mother wasn't good so that option was out. The transplant of the uterus is the condition for in vitro fertilization, it is great risk whether it will be successful because there is a possibility that the body will discard the uterus, and the procedure itself lasts for a long time and it takes two or three years for the procedure itself. Because of this, the surrogate motherhood is the only and last chance for this couple to get their child.
PAINFUL KNOWLEDGE THAT YOU ARE NOT LIKE OTHER GIRLS
Ever since the 18th birthday, Kristina knows that she is not like other, healthy girls, she cannot have a child.
Kristina's coming of age was very traumatic. That is when she found out that she was born without a uterus and that she can't have a child like other, healthy girls.
- My friends and my twin sister had their periods since the age 16-17, and I haven't, I thought that it was late for me. When I turned 178 it was suspicious what was happening to me. I wondered if I was a girl. My parents took me to the doctor's and we were all stunned when they said that I don't have a uterus - said Kristina.
- It is hard to deal with it that you are not like all others, and it is even harder in a rural, patriarchal environment where they condemn infertile women, no matter the reason why they can't have children. It is painful when they keep asking why don't we have children yet, and it is even more painful for me and stressful, not to mention the pressure, that I can't give birth to a child to a man I love. It is in the nature of every woman to want to be a mother. I have the same reasons, I have a great love for children and I am aware that there are little chances to have our child - continues Kristina.
SHE SAID WITH NO SHAME: I DON'T HAVE THE UTERUS BUT I WANT A BABY
Nebojsa's parents didn't know at the start that they might never have a grandchild, but then they found out Kristina felt even more guilty, as she said: "due to selfishness, she ruined the life of a man she loves". Although they love each other a lot, she said that she regrets marrying and she thought a million times that it would be best if they divorced each other.
Nebojsa calmed her down at the moments of crises and he never accepted the divorce. He believed in her love and that they will be able to go through the hardest obstacle and to be happy parents some day.
Kristina publicly spoke about the syndrome she has. Due to the bravery she displayed, she received support from many women who have the same problem, but who are silent. She spoke about surrogate motherhood as the opportunity which would make all the women without a uterus happy, and which is forbidden in Serbia.
- I could no longer live in the dark. I have decided to tell my story. People should find out that there are women who live with this problem, in order to change something. The system doesn't recognize us and that is why we are discriminated. We can't be the part of the program of in vitro fertilization because we don't have the uterus, and surrogate motherhood is a taboo topic and it is illegal. There are discussions of surrogate motherhood in other countries and we turn the blind eye to problems that women in Serbia have - said Kristina.
THEY ARE SAVING THE EMBRYONS BUT THEY DON'T HAVE THE MONEY FOR SURROGATE MOTHERHOOD
Kristina and Nebojsa have been keeping three frozen embryos in a clinic in Novi Sad since February last year. They have paid around 4.500 euros which they gathered by putting aside some money from their modest wages and thanks to their parents.
They need 38.000 euros for surrogate motherhood in Ukraine. It takes 2.500 euros for the start of the programme, 6.000 euros before the in vitro fertilization, and when the surrogate mother becomes pregnant 14.000 euros and the rest until the birth of the child.
- We will endure because we love each other and we want our child. They suggested us to adopt, but that is not the same as having your own child. we went to the doctor, I have healthy ovaries and Nebojsa is healthy, so we kept the embryos. We will gather the money in all ways possible, we will take a bank loan, although we can't do much with our wages. Our parents will sell some land, our friends will help us, but still, that is a lot of money so we hope that humane people will help us gather the money - said Nebojsa and Kristina.
They have agreed to pick the surrogate mother together and they agreed on the name of their unborn baby. The boy will be called Mirko and the girl Mirka. Mirko is their godfather who passed away tragically at the age 35 and they will remember him forever while they raise their son or daughter.
If you want to help the lovely family Savic here are their information:
You can give money onto the following accounts:
Dinar account 160-5310200115420-36 (Nebojsa Savic)
foreign currency account
Nebojsa Savic, Duvaniste, Karadjordjeva 9
(Telegraf.co.uk / D. Grujic)