(EXCLUSIVE) FIRST TIME FOR THE MEDIA IN SERBIA, NIK VUJICIC'S FATHER: This is the truth about my PERFECTLY IMPERFECT son! (PHOTO) (VIDEO)
Boris Vujicic, Protestant pastor born in Bela crkva, for the first time for the media about Nik's suicide attempt, his family in Serbia, reaction about his son being born without arms and legs, arguments, joys and sufferings they went through together
There are no papers that didn't manage to "dig up" something about the best motivational speaker in the world Nik Vujicic, before his arrival to Serbia. It was all on the media menu - about his unsurpassed lectures, despite his genetic disease (prim. aut. tetra-amelia syndrome, which is manifested with lack of all four extremities) he managed to bring back faith in life to millions around the and eventually what of the Serbian specialties he will try, where will he sleep and what clubs will he visit...
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It's everything besides the one, the most important thing! At no moment there was a discussion about what he will miss on this trip and why. Although he planned this trip through Serbia before and he won't be accompanied by the man who spiritually and literally created him - his father Boris Vujicic, Protestant pastor, born in Bela Crkva, who's parents left Yugoslavia more than half a century ago in search for better life, as it usually goes.
The truth is actually darker thatn we thought. So it seems atleast from the exclusive interview with Boris Vujicic. He was, as he said, determined in his intention to go on a tour to promote his book "My perfectly imperfect child" with Nik across Serbia when he found out that he has malignant cancer on his liver, lungs and pancreas.
- Oncologist gave me a month, or two to live, but thank God, i am still alive! It seems that He still has some plan for me here. For how long, only He knows. For that reason i wasn't able to come to Serbia this April. I will see for the future... In any case, I'm glad i managed to write at least something of my experience in raising of a son, Nik, in a book "My perfectly imperfect child" and i hope it will be of use to the readers - Boris starts his story with us, not leaving an impression of a man that is fighting for his life, on the contrary, but he actually plans on using the time he has left.
"There, that's where Nik got it from", it went through our head, before entering any deeper story with older Vujicic, looking back on, to our audience, little known facts about his life.
- My parents were poor and it was the main reason they went abroad. The last year, before leaving, i spent with my grandpa and grandma, although my parents already left Yugoslavia. But, i have to say, my childhood was carefree and nice, as it usually happens, happiness doesn't have much to do with being rich. I grew up surrounded with love of a family and friends... I remember leaving to the beach, football, children's street games. I even remember when my cousin, high school student at the time, took me to the cultural Center to the dance, and how he played some records for me. I will never forget Sunday afternoons with my other cousin, radio with high volume all the time and we were listening to the Macedonian songs. We lived in multinational village and we never looked "who belonged to what side". We were all honest friends, enjoying what my children, nephew and nieces never had. They can only admire and envy, because they could't experience something like that in Australia, although they lived in plenty. Plainly said, my childhood was poor, but beautiful.
Your wife is from this area...
- My wife is originating from Srem, and i am from Banat. We met in a church where we both went ordinary went in Melbourne. We married there. Duska's family emigrated to Australia when she was six, and she almost doesn't remember her birth place in Yugoslavia. Almost whole our life we spent in Australia.
Are you still in contact with your family from here, what do they say about Nik?
- Our bonds with family are very strong... We are close. It is i guess in the mentality of our people and culture, and we conveyed that to our children. In comparison to other children in Australia, our were always closer to their relatives. Family from here is always pleased to see Nik. They love him and admire his way of life and his spirit. The only problem is that he has so little free time and often he can not commit to them longer.
Nik wrote in his book that "you and Duska couldnt accept that you had a child with handicap for four months". Describe it to us what difficult moments you went through...
- Every young couple expect their firstborn with thrill and joy and no one expect that anything can go wrong. With just that thrill and joy, Duska and me prepared the crib and the room for Nik not thinking about anything else. Medical exams showed that the baby is perfectly healthy. We even found out about the sex of the baby on time so we prepared the room - in blue colors. They you can understand why the birth of our firstborn Nik without his hands and legs came a shock!. Actually not his birth, but his handicap, which we discovered. We were all stunned, including medical staff... There was no hint that anything can go wrong.
Therefore the grief was stronger?
- The grief, before everything else, because we didn't get a healthy baby with all limbs, and then the fear how will our son we just got live a life, as complicated as it is, without his arms and legs! I have to admit, at that moment, i did not see anything else but the child that will grow - immovable and helpless. A child that will depend on others through his whole life! Believe me, i was more prepared to accept his death at the moment instead to watch him have a life as i pictured it. I imagined: "God, better take him from this earth, than have a life like this". Of course, that wasn't the God's plan, nor the answer to my prayer, and as time passed, it showed that Niki, despite the disadvantages he has, he can live a normal and fulfilled life both as a husband and as a father, but also as a motivational speaker, who was heard by millions all over the world. With his abilities, strength and belief in God, he showed that there are no obstacles that man can not overcome in his life with great endurance and persistence. With that, he showed me, as a father, how hasty was my judgement of his future life. In time, Duska and me accepted our son, doing what was in our power to provide him with more comfortable and fulfilled life as possible. On Nik's demand, and demand of many other parents that have children with some kind if disability, i described our experience in a book "My perfectly imperfect child".
Nik often talked about how he did not let you to spoil him and that he had a feeling he was like a bag of potatoes when he threw himself of the couch and lift with his forehead, and that often, on your dismay, quite energetically rode a skateboard...
- He was always full with life, and he had the irresistible need to be independent. My reaction to he's dares was quite parent like. I was afraid for him not to get hurt, especially from fear not to remain permanently unable to move. I always told him "you don't need more challenges in your life than you already have", and to especially care about his spine! Truth be told, he was very careful, and i could count on him. As any other kid, however, it happened that in the heat of play, he got carried away and sometime - cross the line! But, thank God, nothing fatal happened.
How did you find out that Nik when he was 10 tried to commit a suicide by drowning in a bathtub, which you described in your book in detail?
- It was like this. Our younger son Aaron told me to go to Nik in his room. I went, and then shock. It did not occur to me that Nik was thinking about suicide. That was, however, enlightening for me, because, no matter how much we thing we know our children, there is always a possibility that they may be hiding something from us. It was a warning that i should focus more attention and love to my children. It is something i always say to all parents. Spend your time with he ones you love and every day tell them how much you love them! Listen to your children and be there for them in need! Everybody go through crises, but it is very important not to let our problems conquer us, and to fight them with our love - for God, parents, relatives, friends...
Describe to us the first time Nik came back from school, crying because he was bullied...
- I don't remember he was crying, but i know he was trying not to go to school. He was grumpy and kept searching for reasons not to go to classes. At the end we concluded what was the reason of this agony, it was because someone made fun of his physical looks, so we advised him to step up next time when they insult him and to ask them to stop with their bad behavior. We also told him, if they don't stop, he should report them, to the duty staff, but in no case he should isolate himself from the friends. Of course, we explained to him that if there is need, we would go to school with him as well to face the hooligans. On Nik's amazement, one of the boys, who insulted him, to Nik's plea for them to stop, said he is sorry! That's how Nick overcame a crisis in school.
Is it true that Nik became motivational speaker, precisely in that time, thanks to a janitor in school?
- Yes, it was mister Arnold. I did not know him at the beginning. There was another man, certain John Haime came at a time to teach Nik about public speaking. It was the time, i must admit, when i did not picture my son as a successful speaker with a carrier, that he has today. I looked on his future from a more conservative and practical side. I thought he would finish college and develop a business as an account. Today i am grateful to all people, who saw in him, better than i did, encouraging him, cheering and helping him to accomplish whats in his heart. Those people are worth of every praise.
Do you ever think you put too much pressure on Nik to be better than the rest?
- I never influenced on him to do anything better than the others. I only used competition in the moments when his brother Aaron and he learned the multiplication table, and even then it wasn't with the "who will do better" spirit... I remember that who said the right number would go a step forward, and who made a mistake, a step backward, a winner is the one who reaches the finish line!
Try to remember the biggest fight you had with Nik.
- I don't remember fights, but i remember the tension when he wanted to go to South Africa and with his younger brother. It was hard for me to let them go, the young and inexperienced, alone. And in a country that was going through some difficult political turmoil. But, their mother supported them, i had to let go. Thank God, they came back with the experience that changed they way they see the world. They were surprised how horrifyingly little they had and how pleased they are. It was something they couldn't see in the west. That kind of attitude inspired them to have even more enthusiasm and to help with their motivational speeches.
Do you remember the moment when you were the proudest of Nik?
- There are more moments like that. First, when he insisted on going to South Africa, and i admire that even to this day. Second, when he went to visit Serbia, Croatia and Slovenia in 2012. I was glad he went to visit his own people, and bring fate into God. I was especially touched with interest and support he received from Novak Djokovic, Prince Aleksandar, princess Katarina Karadjordjevic and patriarch Irinej. For the third time i was especially moved when in 2014. more than 35.000 people came to hear him out in Vietnam.
With what kind of anxiety did you wait for the birth of Nik's children?
- After the experience we went though with Nik, it is understandable we followed the pregnancy of his wife with special medial exams. All the analysis showed that the kids will be fine , so we did not worry so much. The ones that went though the experience of having a baby, know that "nothing is certain until its over" as our saying goes. But, thank God, everything turned out fine with first, as well as with second grandchild. Today we are blessed grandparents. Only the ones that experienced the same can know the feeling.
Is it true that Nik keeps shoes in the dressing cabinet because he believes in miracles?
- Yes, it's true. I had no idea about that until he, on one occasion, said so. But his life does not depend on that. He is happy the way he is. God makes miracles. He made one from Nik's life. From a helpless baby, as the way i saw him when he got into this world, to a remarkable man he is today! Only god knows whats needed for life. We believe in a living almighty God, in Christ who made wonders written in the Bible. There is nothing God can not do. In the Bible it said "if we desire anything from God, it is His will to be given to us".
Why God , if He allows us to suffer?
- This is a question that can not be comprehended to its core. But, we can see the love of God, we can see it through the Christ that died so we can live forever. So, God wants, and has always wanted for a man to live happy and forever! The reason for all the suffering is the sin, that lies in human selfishness. God allows and gives us opportunities to experience and perceive the consequences of sin, and fruits of good and love, and therefore to chose and respect good and love... If there was no light, we would never know what is the day! If only good exists, we wouldn't know that there is sin, evil and Satan.
What makes Nik most similar to you and at what is he better than you? What did he inherit from his mother?
- Most similar is that he has no stage fright when he holds his speeches, and that he is interested in real estates and the market. He has unmistakable judgement whether the prices on the market will rise or fall. But, i must admit, he overcame me in both fields. From his mother he got his humor and positive view of the world.
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