"How my 7 year old daughter debunked the theory that Serbian and Croatian languages are different in just one afternoon"
"More than a quarter of a century since Yugoslavia fell apart, we understand each other. Croatian and Serbian and Bosnian and Montenegrin language have barely moved a millimeter from one another", wrote Ante Tomic in his column
"I am reading how some claim that their sons and daughters were born after the break down of Yugoslavia and that they don't understand Serbian and i am left with nothing else but to conclude with regret that their children are not such nerds, excellent students with praises from the teaching council.
When my girl in the first grade of elementary school found all episodes on YouTube of her favorite cartoon synchronized on Serbian language, it took her less then a second to realize that Spuzva Bob (sponge Croatian) and Sudnjer Bob (sponge Serbian). She even thought that she can teach me something about the outlandish language she just mastered.
"Do you want to know how Serbs call Mrkva (carrot)?" she asked overwhelmingly and with a smile. "Sargarepa", i answered without thinking. "How do you know that?!" the girl was stunned and i immediately felt sorry for disappointing her.
Well, really, she deserved to feel triumphant. My seven year old clever girl in just one one after noon destroyed the life's work of academic Stjrepan Babic as it was Panta pie. She destroyed the theory like Bulgarian Parliament that Serbian and Crotian are two different languages.
But, that is actually, not such a great feat.
Most of us, at least unconsciously, realizes the situation of things. Despite the fantasies of nationalists, we are living in a language reality where Serbs, Croats, Montenegrins and Bosnians understand each other perfectly, where everybody equally listen to Rozga and Karleusa, watch "Thugs and princesses" and "Andrija and Andjelka".
Everything that is really important about Serbian and Croatian, which are, as if, incontinently separating from each other since the break down of Yugoslavia, could be explained by enterprising Germans from the board of RTL, who made loads of money on the regional Big Brother.
While shows about culture were given to the state televisions, where linguists were dressed like undertakers and they endlessly argued about what word is correct, and what is not, viewers in Gospic, Zenica, Bijelo Polje and Valjevo, massively turned their heads on Balkan soft porn in German productions. Maniacs of all religions and nations were staring at the screen, guessing who had intercourse with who under the blanket, not caring who says mineral and who says soda water.
What political norm, law, council, commission or agency could stop that language and any other perversion. And what are politicians, who are pushing hard on our official, internationally recognized languages, doing in that sense? When Aleksandar Vucic greeted Kolinda Grabar-Kitarovic with flowers, maybe you noticed that they were alone, without translators. They talked of course, in English they both perfectly speak.
"My name is Aleksandar Vucic, I like to watch football", said Vucic to Grabar-Kitarovic, and she responded with a smile: "My name is Kolinda Grabar-Kitarovic. I have a little cat".
And on Monday evening, when Vucic and Plenkovic met in Mostar, it was similar. Croatian politician pointing to the plate, asked Serbian politician:
"Oh! How do you call that delicious little peace of meat?"
"Cevapi. Ce-va-pi" (kebabs), answered Vucic carefully stressing syllables.
Or perhaps it was somewhat different. Vucic and Plenkovic amazingly discovered that their languages are not so distant as it is usually thought. Indeed, Croatian and Serbian language may have more in common than German spoken in Austria and German spoken in Switzerland, or from Iranian and Egyptian Arabian, or Paraguayan and Uruguayan Spanish, or a number of other examples where one language is spoken in multiple countries.
Declaration about joint language which severely disturbed nationalists on all sides in the past few days, speaks about something really banal, something that small children can not fathom, which is so obvious that a clever man is embarrassed to look at it.
Authors and signatories were charged in the line of comments that they want to rebuild Yugoslavia, although none of them have such incredible ambitions. The only thing that declaration is fighting for is healthy reason and freedom of terror of nationalistic defectives, who write who write different dictionaries instead of taking medicines.
More than a quarter of a century since Yugoslavia fell apart, we understand each other. Croatian and Serbian and Bosnian and Montenegrin language have barely moved a millimeter from one another.
Call them as you will, those are the same languages. Croats and Serbs are licking Todorovic ice creams with same tongues, the difference, there is Ledo written on Croatian, and Frikom on Serbian".
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